We are all here
learning important life lessons, evolving into wiser, purer human beings. As we
learn our lessons we feel happier, lighter, more expanded, yet more humble. We
recognize that everyone is on a journey to wholeness and enlightenment and that
journey is not easy, but fraught with obstacles, hindrances, and problems, big
and small. It is in the overcoming of these things that we move on to another
level, until eventually we reach, what many have called "enlightenment."
We all have a few lessons that are unique to us. For example, the lesson of
Saying No or learning how to set clear boundaries (see My Personal Boundaries).
There are also several universal life lessons that all humans must learn on
this journey of ours.
Lesson 1: Learning not to judge.
We have no right to
make a judgment of anyone, including ourselves. We do not know what the other
person is learning on their journey, or what they are here to teach us on our
journey. Sometimes the most annoying, frustrating person in our life teaches us
our greatest lesson. It takes a lot of sand and grit to create a pearl.
When we look at
others and judge them, we are judging ourselves. They are mirroring what is
going on in us. When we don't want to accept the shadow side within ourselves,
we point our finger at others: "Look at her! How can she do that? How can
she be so selfish?" By projecting our hate and judgment outwards, we avoid
and deny the reality inward.
So, let go of
judgments. Set yourself free. As you reign in judgment, you will feel free.
Each time you make a judgmental statement or have a thought about someone else
(or yourself), just remind yourself to let it go. Replace it with silence or a
positive thought or statement. See how it makes you feel. At first it will seem
strange, but as you break the habit of judging, you will feel lighter, freer
and more positive and loving.
Lesson 2: Learning to Love.
See the spark of
light within yourself and every person you meet. This is our soul/spirit
within. We were all spiritual beings before we chose to come to earth in human
form. As spiritual beings, we were and are exquisite. If only we could catch a
glimpse of how amazing we are in the spirit! Try looking deeply into someone's
eyes and see if you can sense their soul. The eyes are the window to the soul.
The more you look, the more you will see spirit within. Whether it is the
beggar on the street, a child playing in the park, or an old man in a nursing
home; the beautiful, the deformed, the smart, the mentally disabled, the
overweight, the anorexic, the schizophrenic.....whoever it is, whatever their
shell, deep within them is a soul. This is what we are asked to love. It may
not be easy to love the unkempt beggar, or the schizophrenic or the grumpy old
man; look for the soul within them and love that. Recognise that they took on a
difficult task, choosing to come into this world in their present form and live
a life with obstacles and challenges that you or I do not have to endure.
Lesson 3:Learning to Give (serving, helping, nurturing, teaching.)
We live in a
narcissistic culture that prides itself on selfishness and greed. But we all
know deep down that happiness comes from giving out. Even the wealthiest know
the satisfaction that comes from giving to others. We all have talents, gifts
and abilities that we can use to bring happiness to others. Whatever you do in
life, do it with your whole heart, like you are doing it for a king. Whether it
is a profession like nursing or teaching or engineering, or a menial job like
garbage collecting or cleaning houses, give totally of yourself. You are
important to the overall scheme of this world. All parts are needed for it to
flow smoothly. What would we do without people willing to collect our garbage?
How would we survive without those dedicated to cleaning the washrooms?
Recognise that your role is important, valued and essential. Then give freely.
Giving freely does
not mean enabling. Each person must learn his or her own lessons. If we jump in
too quickly and save someone from the consequences of their behaviour, we are
enabling. That is not helpful or needed.
Giving freely also
does not mean martyrdom. Give out of a pure heart, not from a place of
resentment or obligation.
Lesson 4: Learning to Forgive.
Leave the past
behind. If you want forgiveness, then forgive others. I'm sure you have needed
forgiveness at one time or another. You have wronged someone, hurt them or
spoken harshly, treated someone coldly or turned away and then felt bad, guilty
maybe, and wanted their understanding and forgiveness. Do the same for others.
They are human too. Yes, there are situations when it is harder to forgive,
like abuse as a child. But the opposite of forgiveness is holding on to anger,
resentment and bitterness. Lesson 6 talks about negative thoughts and how they
can fester within us and create illness. This is what you need to let go of.
This is why forgiveness is necessary. The consequence to yourself is too great
not to forgive.
Lesson 5: Learning to Live in the Present.
This moment is all
we have. It is all that is guaranteed. The past is finished. The future is
unknown. We have no control over either. Yet we waste so much time and energy
worrying about the future and fuming about the past. Let it go. Live for this
moment. Enjoy what is happening right now. Make plans, but don't live for
tomorrow. Live for today. As you wake up each morning, be grateful that you are
given another day to learn more lessons. You are given more chances to get on
track, to live more honestly and openly, to love more, and to give more. Then
set your mood for the day, by holding your hand over your heart and thinking
about 4 things that make you feel warm inside: the smile of your two year old,
the roses growing in your garden, snorkeling in Maui, a hug from your mother.
This is living in the present. Experiencing emotions. Loving others. Giving of
ourselves. Being who we are meant to be. Living our truth. Noticing what is
around us. Being grateful for all that we have. Knowing that all is well. If
tomorrow doesn't come for us, we can be ready for that, by living each day in
the moment.
Lesson 6: Learning to Respond, not React.
Do you get upset by
what others say or do to you? When you feel hurt, angry, irritated or scared by
what someone has said or done, do you say or do things to punish them? Remember
they are your teacher. Your life is about you, not them. One of the hardest
lessons to learn is how not to be affected by another person's emotions. If
someone is angry and lashes out at you, whose emotions are we dealing with?
Theirs, right? Do you want your own emotions to be controlled by someone else?
That's what you are doing if you lash back with the same anger that was dished
at you. Let the other have their anger. Do not allow anyone to stir up your
emotions. You take charge of your own emotions and let others own theirs.
What does it mean
to respond, not react? Reacting is allowing our emotions to be dictated by
someone else. Responding is thinking first and deciding from a higher self
perspective how to be in different situations. If someone yells at you, your
reaction would be to yell back. To respond would involve staying centred and
reminding yourself that they can't make you feel anything. Hold on to your
personal power and speak from that place when you respond. Perhaps you say
something like, "Please don't yell at me. Let's discuss this in a
civilized way." You become a master, not a victim. It feels so much more
empowering.
Lesson 7: Learning to Focus on the Positive.
Guard your
thoughts. Focus on the good, uplifting and positive in everything. Flee from
negativity. If we only knew how powerful our thoughts were, we would be so much
more diligent in what we think and believe. Quantum physics has demonstrated
that if we focus positive thoughts on water as it freezes, the result will be
beautiful intricate ice particles. Prayer is focused thought. Meditation,
reiki, visualization are all based on focused thought.
Thinking negatively
creates disease. Bitterness, anger and resentment show on a person's face in
wrinkles and vacant eyes (where is their soul?) and in their body in arthritis,
heart attacks and cancer. Please, for your own health, let go of negative
thinking. It is a habit that can be broken if you are determined to be free. It
takes 21 days to change a pattern, so over the next 3 weeks try to change any
negative thoughts into positive ones. Or simply notice when you think negative
thoughts about something or someone and consciously say to yourself:
"There's another negative thought. Let it go." Eventually, you will
learn to think more positively. And you will notice a change on your inside:
you will feel better, happier, lighter, and more buoyant. You might even laugh
more. Perhaps you will live more in the moment. Experiment with positive
thinking and see what happens. You just might be surprised.
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