Goal Setting: A Quick Guide

Let's talk about goal setting; how you go about setting purposeful goals, and making sure those goals actually get achieved.

How do you make goals work not only for New Year's time, but throughout the whole year? How do you make them actually changing your life, transforming your life for the better?

Personally, I've struggled with goals for a long time. That's because they seem simple. They seem obvious; you need to go in there and start to look into what actually makes goals work so that you can set proper, powerful goals to achieve your Purpose.

If you're like me, then you have big dreams for your life. You know you're capable of so much more. What that means is that you have some sort of dream. You have some sort of vision.

What your career could be like, how your business might be growing, what your health might be like, how your lifestyle is like. All of those areas in your life, to achieve big things in those areas, you need to have some goals to get you there.

Let's talk about how to do this and where people make mistakes with the goal setting process, because I've made these mistakes, and I still make these mistakes, even though I've studied this stuff. Let's take a look at that.

There are a lot of people who work hard at achieving a goal, but when they eventually achieve such goals, they do not derive any joy or satisfaction from achieving such goals. The main reason for this is that what you have accomplished is not suitable for your inner values. This shouldn't happen to you. Clarification of your values is an act you need to perform in each area of your life.

Your true goals are your objectives you intend to achieve. It starts with developing your visions and values into tasks that you can easily accomplish each day until you achieve the main goal.

The master skill to success is to set goals and make plans to achieve such goals. Without mastering the skill of goal setting and developing action plans, you may not be able to fully utilize your potential or achieve any goal in life. All major accomplishments involve a sequence of steps.

Through planning, your major definite purpose is turned into a multi-task project with step-by-step details, clear deadlines and sub-deadlines. The good news is that with practice, you can learn and master this skill. The more you practice, the better you become. Hence, you will be one the most effective and influential people.

Always organize your thoughts on a sheet of paper. There can be sub-lists for every list. Until you're comfortable with your plan, keep updating and revising it. Any skill can be learned and planning being a skill is not an exception.

Over the years, there have been many studies into the reasons why some people achieve more than others. In an effort to determine the common denominator of success.

The common denominator was "action orientation." Those who achieve success take immense action. They make their moves very fast and their hands are always full.

Every great success you achieve is an indication that you've overcome one challenge or another. The critical determinant of your success is your ability to make a decision on what you want. Then, taking action steps and holding on in the midst of challenges and difficulties until you accomplish your goals.

So, if we all have the ability to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable and realizable. Why is that a lot of people find it difficult to set one. Here are 4 reasons why I believe people find it difficult to really set goals.

YOU DON'T REALIZE ITS IMPORTANCE

For most people, they don't have the basic understanding of setting goals, hence, they don't realize its importance. If you grow up in a home where no one sets goals let alone seeks to achieve them, you won't see the need to set goals as well.

YOU HAVE NO GUIDE ON HOW TO SET GOALS

People are unable to set goals because they don't have the guidance they need on how they can set goals. Worse still, there are a lot of people who have wishes or dreams which they term as goals.

Example of such wishes or dreams are, "be happy", "make a lot of money", or "have a nice family life".

Of course, we all have wishes and dreams, but a goal is completely different from a wish, it is specific, measurable, and even time-bound.

If you are like me and you didn't have any idea about goal setting until you became an adult, then, you won't realize its importance.

YOU ARE AFRAID OF FAILING

The truth is nobody wants to fail. Failure is painful and distressing both emotionally and financially. We all have failed at one time or the other. While we resolve to learn from our experience to forge ahead, we allow these failures to 'cage' us and make us 'play it safe'. Hence, we don't maximize our potential to the fullest.

YOU ARE AFRAID OF CRITICISM

These are people that feel that by setting a goal and not achieving that goal, they will receive criticism from others. If you fall into this category, I have a simple solution for you, ensure that your goals are confidential. There is no need to tell anyone your goals. Let your results and achievements speak for you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9940294

How To Move On From The Past

Are you a victim of a past event? If you have ever lost a loved one, had your heart broken or had trouble in school you may find it difficult to let go and move on. Learn how to take back your life - the past is the past. There are methods to move on and cope. If you do not learn how to move on the past will overtake your life. When you learn how to let go of the past and move on you will be happier, not as worried feel the pain no longer. You can learn to let go of the past and move on! When you truly learn how to move on from the past you can truly experience the love, joy and peace life has to offer.

The first step in moving is to feel your emotions. Yell, cry or scream if you feel like it. If you feel down allow yourself to be down. Whatever you do the key is to not hide from your feelings. Avoiding how you really feel will only make matters worse. If you are feeling sad - cry, call a friend and cry, take a bath and cry. Feel your pain if you are angry. Venting and crying are good for you; it helps you to release the emotions. Share your feelings with a trusted friend or go see a counselor. When you experience your emotions you can let go of the past and move on.

Forgiveness is the second step to moving of from the past. Forgive yourself and others of the mistakes that have been made. One the keys to moving on is forgiveness. You don't have to forget to be able to forgive. But, you will never move on if you do not forgive. If you have said something you should not have - forgive yourself. If you were not there for someone - forgive yourself. If someone has betrayed or wronged you - forgive them. Forgive yourself and other and let go of the past and move on.

Acceptance is the third step in letting go of the past and moving on. Accept your loss, accept your pain, accept the broken heart. With acceptance you are on your way to freeing yourself from the past. We can learn from our experiences and the past, but the past is the past. If you live in the present moment you have the future to look forward to. Accept that you have been disappointed, embarrassed or heartbroken and allow yourself to heal and grow.

The last key to moving on from the past is to live. Live for the hope of something new without fear. Live a life of happiness and joy, live for those you've lost, live life without regrets. In living a full life you will let go of the past. Help others get over past experiences similar to yours. Living your life does not mean that past events did not happen, but, you do not have to give up you can move on and life for today and look forward to the future.

I urge you not to let the past enslave you one more day. The past is something we have no control over, therefore it can not be changed. Starting this very moment you can make a decision to live in the now and become that person you have always dreamed of being.

Sometimes you read something and it can totally change your life. Do not spend one more day miserable. You can change your life forever. Don't be robbed of your peace, joy and happiness for one more day.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3558944

Live in the Past, It Will Become Your Future

Do you want to create a better future than your past? How do you do that?

How many people do you know that are still reliving their high school days? They are constantly remembering how things were during their senior year in high school, and how wonderful it was. Bet you anything, if they are really truthful about it, when they were going through it, it wasn't so wonderful.

Events have a habit of becoming more pleasant after a few years have gone by and more recent so called unpleasant experiences in our life have obscured the unpleasantness of the past. Granted, there is absolutely nothing wrong with re-living the past, especially something as memorable as most of our senior years in school were.

But, when a person constantly dwells on an event from his or her past and that event becomes their dominant thought, it means your life is not moving at all, you are stuck in the past and there will be no advancement towards what one would deem a better life.

If that is where you want to be, there certainly is nothing wrong with that, if that is truly where you want to be. Many people go through their whole lives reliving the past, and if you past is pleasant enough for you to be content, so be it, more power to you, you may be one of the fortunate ones.

But if you desire to move forward you need to remember your life moves towards what you focus on. Gravity wasn't discovered by someone thinking about sinking, wealth isn't created by continuously thinking about how poor one is. We don't achieve in life by constantly thinking about what we don't want, if you think about what you don't want, that is what you will receive.

If you want to lose weight, you won't lose one pound by constantly thinking about how hungry you are, and you won't get healthy by thinking about how sick you are.

I know that when an unpleasant event happens in our lives, a certain amount of time must be set aside for mourning and reliving the event until the pain subsides and we can move along, however you need to put it behind you as soon as possible and move ahead. This doesn't mean you will never think about it again, you will. It isn't about denial, it is about renewal.

Beginning today, take notice when you find yourself thinking and talking about so-called negative events from your past, and unless you want to reinforce those feelings and continue to experience the same in the future, begin to think about how you want your future to unfold,now is the time to let go of the past and create a new, happier, and more pleasant future.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7195415

Living In The Past - Again and Again

Do you know someone who is living in the past? Is that person you by any chance? The other day I was talking to someone who recanted, with great detail, stories from the past. Specifically, she cannot let go of her ex-boyfriend.

He was not a good guy. He was not good to her. He cheated on her, drank too much and wound up leaving her. However, all she can focus on is this make-believe story she has written in her mind about how their life was together. When she was with him, she was miserable. She didn't trust him. She was sad most of the time.

As soon as he left her, however, she suddenly decided that she had to have him back. Her ego is driving her life now. He's been gone for over two years. She has not dated. She has not formed new friendships. She just keeps talking about how she can't get over him. She won't allow herself to get over him. She's too busy living in the past to allow that of herself.

Even if something was the greatest thing ever, it's still in the past. You cannot go back and relive it or reclaim it. You cannot recreate it. You can only create the future. If, like this woman I was speaking to about her past, one wants that connection and that bond that one feels with someone special in their life, create it. Create it from this point forward. Allow the Universe to bring someone new into your life who is what you say you want. The more we focus on what we want, the better we feel and the quicker it comes to us. It works. Try it. You have nothing to lose at this point.

In the book and movie The Secret, a great film about the Law of Attraction, we are told that our job is the "WHAT". The Universe handles the "HOW". We have to stop living in the past, we have to stop allowing our egos to rules our present and futures, and we have to choose what we want. The Universe will figure out the best way to bring it to us, in the best time and in the best manner for everyone concerned.

I reiterated this to my friend. I reminded her that she could have that love she is seeking. She told me she didn't believe that she would ever love again. I told her that is what she's creating. The Universe hears, "Fine. You will never love again.". She's a wonderful person. I reminded her of that as well. I think living in the past is a safe place for her. She is afraid to step out of the comfort of the pain and the ego and take a risk. I wished her well. I meant it. I wish that we all have exactly what we want, now and forevermore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8615286

How I Overcame Decision Paralysis | Mary Steffel | TEDxNortheasternU

Do you suffer from Decision Paralysis? If so you are going to love this Ted Talk from Mary Steffel. Enjoy! 

6 Questions To Ask Before Making Decisions

"My basic principle is that you don't make decisions because they are cheap; you make them because they're right." - Theodore Hesburgh

Now, more than ever, business owners and leaders are trying to stretch their dollars as they await a reversal in this economic downturn. Weathering these challenging times is causing some businesses to make desperate decisions that are not in the best interest of their business or company.

When you make desperate decisions you create desperate results. What do I mean by this? It's like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. It's a short term and ill advised solution. When you make decisions out of desperation, you are reacting as opposed to responding to the situation, which in some cases can do more harm than good.

These desperate decisions can show up as massive layoffs, taking on clients you wouldn't normally do business with, drastically cutting your fees just to get business in the door, or even worse, laying low and not doing anything hoping that things will eventually settle down.

What is the best thing to do in these situations? Before you make a decision that may do more harm than good, take a step back, take a breath, and give yourself some time to get out of desperation mode and into a more positive place. Once you do that, you can think clearer and you can create more positive, long term, sustainable outcomes.

Here are some questions to ask yourself that will produce more value based decisions.

1. What is the breakdown you are addressing? What is the initial cause of your concern? Monetary issues? A weakened economy? Take time to identify what is causing the most headaches for you and your team.

2. What is the desired outcome? Is it simply dollars you want to deposit into your bank account? Or would you rather begin now to forge lasting client relationships based on trust? The perfect time to create strong bonds between you, your clients, and team, is during an economic slowdown. This gives you the time to concentrate on building solid relationships that will continue to grow once the economy shifts.

3. How will it serve you, the company, or business? Making a hasty decision will always create havoc within your company. For example, before laying off members of your team, look at other unexplored avenues of generating income, or get creative in your advertising efforts. Carefully examine the long term effects of any drastic decisions you make in order to simply save money. How will cost-cutting measures affect your levels of customer service? If you lose valuable people through layoffs, will you be able to hire them back at a later point?

4. Is the decision in keeping with company's core values and visions? When making decisions that will affect others, pay close attention to what your core values are telling you. "Gut instinct" is seldom wrong. You know when you're going against everything you and your company has stood for for many years, because there will be a little voice telling you, "Hang on a second. This decision doesn't feel right." Listen carefully and act wisely.

5. Will it produce long term sustainable results for the business? What will be the impact of the decision you make today in one year, two years or five years down the road? Will today's clients still be doing business with you in the future or will they have gone the route of the dinosaur and disappeared? Or will implementing a change in the method of how you do business bring you continued client growth well into the days of tomorrow? Every action has long term implications, so be sure to gauge the potential future outcomes before you make your decision and act upon it.

6. Can you stand in your integrity if you make this decision? This is the kicker. Can your heart and conscience live with the decisions your head has made? That's what decision making boils down to. If the decisions and actions you take affect your whole sense of well-being, something is off, and that means your integrity has been compromised. If you are unable to make a decision, implement the action, and stand by the results with quiet dignity, don't do it. Look for another solution to your problem.

After asking yourself these 6 questions, you should have a good idea of whether the decision you're about to make is a valid one that won't keep you up at nights filled with dread about the outcome. And frankly, who wants to live the life of a terminal insomniac? I don't.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3392338

How To Make Hard Choices | Ruth Chang

We all have hard decisions that we have to make in life. Do I stay in a relationship? Do I go for a career change? Do we move to a different country?

Sometimes we get decision paralysis and we get stuck for weeks and months not making any progress in what needs to be done. 

In today's video I share a TED talk from Ruth Chang about how to make hard decisions. 

Learn How To Find Solutions And Make Decisions

Take a moment to think about the last time you needed to find a solution and make a decision about an issue in your business or life. What method or process did you use? Was the solution and decision reactionary? Or did you have a process for not only making a decision, but also determining a solution for the long-term?

Individuals often times practice making permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances. This way of thinking does not assist in using your critical thinking skills that enables you to examine, clarify and determine the outcome of a particular situation in your life. Problem solving is not just finding a solution which works at the time, but it is a multiple step process which allows you to approach the situation in a logical and practical way.

Assess the Situation

Assessing the situation can be the lengthy part of the process. However, it is a vital component used to properly develop solutions and make decisions. Using this method gives you the opportunity to not only look at multiple options, but to also view the options in multiple ways. You can view the options as a process, from a creative perspective, a data only viewpoint, an emotional reaction, both yours and the reaction of others, if the decision impacts them. Some of these perspectives are known as the "Six Thinking Hats" theory which can be used in business and life.

When you are ready to begin developing a solution, set aside time in a quiet space to approach the situation expecting that there is a thought out practical solution available to be used. Begin the process with a clear mind.

1) Create a language shift from negative to positive. View the "problem" as a "situation". The word problem puts you in a negative mindset from the onset while the word situation puts you in a neutral starting place for transformational change.

2) Define the situation clearly by writing it down. Write the situation from multiple view points. Ask yourself a series of questions in order to be clear about the situation.

3) Ask yourself questions about all the possible causes of the situation. Inability to identify the causes or reasons for the situation may at times cause a continued cycle of the situation in your life.

4) Ask yourself and assess all the possible solutions of the situation Write out as many solutions or answers to the situation as possible before moving on. The more possible solutions can yield higher quality results.

5) Make a clear decision about your next steps. Making a decision is crucial to the solution of the situation. Note that the solution may include doing nothing. Remember to commit to the decision.

6) Create an action plan regarding the decision. Include due dates for completion and review."

7) Use your action plan to follow-up and track your progress, monitor the decision, compare actual results with expected results. Use this information to generate new solutions and new plans of action.

Action Steps

1) Write the problem clearly, so that you know exactly for what you are planning a solution. Ask, "What else is the problem?"

2) Develop as many solutions as you possibly can. This may include doing nothing. Be sure to include doing nothing in your action plan. This should be done before you make a decision. The quality of your ideas is in direct correlation to the quantity of solutions which you generate.

Affirmation of action

I will think about the situation with clarity and purpose. I will focus on creating the best possible solution. I commit to making a decision and walking out the plan of action.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6404629

Before You Decide: 3 Steps To Better Decision Making | Matthew Confer | TEDxOakLawn

How do you make better decisions?  We are taught that we should make decisions with the best of intentions and come up with an effective strategy for success. We need to also consider the consequences of failure as well as making sure that we think of the small details that we forget.

In this TED Talk from Matthew Confer, the 3 steps to making better decision making in more detail. 

When we all make thousands of decisions everyday, making sure that we set ourselves up for success is important and to do that we also need to be aware of what will be our downfall as this will make us think more of what we are doing. 

Importance Of Making Decisions Right

Difficult decisions are sometimes difficult to undo. We become so conscious on identifying the best option because we cannot afford to risk a wrong decision. However, we failed to realize the importance of ensuring that any decision we make turns out right. We overly emphasized on the choices we make instead on everything that follows.

By merely choosing the best option available for does not warrant that things will turn our right in the long run. We should focus on what will happen next if we select this choice. By doing so, a given decision made will be determine if it is right or wrong. Our sense of agency and ownership is diminished once we focused too much on the right decision. On the contrary, focusing on the effort that will be required after our decision not only helps us see the means by which any choice might succeed, it also restores our sense of agency and reminds us that while randomness plays a role in every outcome, our sense of control resides in our daily activities more than in our one-time decisions.

We should simply not allow our emotions to choose for us. We might regret later. Though emotions are important input into decision-making; but it will most likely lead to a negative outcome and focusing our attention on the options likely to lead to a positive outcome. That's the reason why too many people commit the same mistakes over and over again. They let their emotions rule their rational thinking. In the end, they suffer the consequence of their wrong decisions.

Some people who have difficulty in making choices. They are afraid of the risks of making the wrong decision. They have trouble making decisions because they fear of making mistakes. They do not want to be wrong but the trouble is they worry too much, they are blinded to see that it should be the other way around. When they make a decision, they should exert every effort they have to turn it right no matter what happens.

What it means to have too many choices is that it also varies. Some people are overwhelmed by choosing between two things. Others can have an almost endless options but it also depends on what the choice is. Making decisions is sometimes making a commitment to a choice and sticking with it, but often there is an opportunity to find out something new if we only allow ourselves to have a room for improvement. Having an opportunity to find out something can make decisions fun.

Just bear in mind, "We cannot always make the right decision, but we can make every decision right by being objective and rational."

Some people have trouble with making decisions because they have trouble setting priorities. The sad thing is, it's difficult to teach people how to make the right decision because of their poor judgment or lack of insight.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9895213

Are You Better Off Making Decisions On Your Own?

Sometimes it's easy to make a decision on your own. On the contrary, some decisions get you pondering whether you are making the right choice. In fact, a lot of people spend time in analysis paralysis land more than they want to. If you find that to be the case for you, you'd want to learn from this article how you can make decisions in a more effective way that works for you.

The cost of not making decision in a timely manner could be significant for your business. So, it is important to understand that playing with the options in your own head may be essential but not sufficient to make thing happen. Simply said, over thinking it is not an accomplishment.

Some decisions happen instantly like buying a pizza. If you ordered a pie for a group of people lately, you may had first inquired about any specific topping preferences individuals had, or you put the order based on your recollection of past experiences. What makes this case an easy decision is the thought: how wrong could it go?

It is more than likely that your financial decisions require way more attention. How about personnel issues in your business, or expanding into a new market? But is the possibility of getting it wrong make you unproductive?

First, understand your own decision making style.

We each have a tendency to either be collaborative or soloist. And that tendency carries a price occasionally.

A soloist may get stuck not being able to make a decision for fear of making a mistake. And for someone who is collaborative in nature, may analyze every piece of input from their team and still not make a move, unless they are clear that the majority is in agreement. In both situations the decision is postponed and there is no clear deadline.

It's important to note that as the emotional impact increases, so does the fear of making a mistake.

So, if you are a soloist and you deal with decisions greater in capacity, value, and impact, you may want to consider getting your team involved, to avoid over-analyzing on your own.

If you heavily rely on team, make sure you define a time-line to get input from other and then base your decision on the information you have.

Using the following questions, clarify whether getting your team's input is important in a specific case

• How complex the decision is?


• Who is this decision going to impact?


• How much relevant experience or frame of reference individuals in your team have?


• What kind of collaboration will be needed to implement the decision?


• How much more time is needed if you are to collect input from others?


• What would be the impact of delaying the decision until you have enough information?


• What is enough information?


• And when you figure out that a decision carries great impact and high value, it is more than necessary to involve other professionals that would help you explore related facts, put aside your emotions and get in action!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8365833

How To Cope With The Lockdown Measures In Terms Of Diet, Exercise And Mindset

With the new lockdown measures in place for the start of the winter months, mindset is going to be a key component especially as we are heading into the winter months. There are many mental changes that occur in the winter months to a greater or lesser degree, and each individual is different, but commonly you may experience some of the following:

🔴 A lower mood than normal

🔴 Craving carbs

🔴 Feeling lethargic

🔴 Sleeping for longer than normal

🔴 Not wanting to talk / meet with people.

It is important that you do activities, even in a lockdown situation that can help you feel better and take away the stress and reduce any depression in the winter months and here are some lifestyle tips to help you improve your mind and body in the coming months.

1️⃣ Get outdoors – it is important that when you can you get some fresh air as there will still be times of natural light. This will boost your mood and emotions.

2️⃣ Manage your stress levels – find activities that help you relieve stress, these include but are not limited to reading, yoga, painting, meditation etc.

3️⃣ Talk to people – even a phone call to a friend or family member for a good chat can make you feel better.

4️⃣ Exercise – 30-60 minutes of regular, intense exercise will increase your endorphin levels, serotonin levels and other feel-good brain chemicals.

5️⃣ Diet – as mentioned above you tend to crave carbs. Studies have shown that eating food rich in omega 3 (salmon, walnuts, soybeans and flaxseeds as examples) can help boost your mood and there are foods that can improve serotonin levels (such as oatmeal, whole grain bread, brown rice and bananas), without giving you the sugar crash.

As you will know being a PT and Life Coach allows me to deal with the situations mentioned above and so if you need any advice I am here to help. Simply drop me a message or contact me as follows:

E: jbryantcoaching@outlook.com

M: 07516357042

Three Tips For The Home Workout Routine

New lockdown restrictions in place and no gym – how do you create a workout routine? Here are my top tips to get you through the latest restrictions:

1️⃣ Create a plan – start with “I will do a minimum 30 minutes walking / running/ skipping on Monday, Wednesday and Friday” as an example. For myself I have already planned to do 2 long cycle rides outdoors a week plus either stationary bike at home or an online exercise class that I do with my online clients.

2️⃣ Join an online exercise class – I currently do 2 classes a week with my online group and new members are extremely welcome – get in contact to see how you can join. These exercise classes take the thinking out of what to do.

3️⃣ Create a space to do exercise – much like creating a space to work at home, you need a space that can be incorporate doing some exercise. You do not need a large space to do this but it is important that you have this space set aside.

If you need more information, do not hesitate to contact me so that I can help you keep happy and fit during this time.

⬇Comment below what you are going to commit to in the new lockdown⬇

Strain of Lockdown - 6 Tips for Survival

Social distancing rules in Britain, like around the world, mean all non-essential travel and public gatherings have to stop. People can only leave home for exercise, to shop for essential items, for attending medical care, or when their work cannot be done at home. Being top of each other in the house is a real challenge. We're stuck inside our homes, forced to spend more time together than ever before. We don't have to be confined to a small family dwelling, with no garden to escape to, to feel the strain of lockdown.

We may have to deal with children off school with a surplus of energy. We're relying on a partner for almost all of our social support because we can't be with our friends or relatives.

The strain of lockdown can exacerbate already difficult relationships. Signs of family disharmony include negative low mood, emotional outbursts, resentment, and feelings of frustration.

Here are some thoughts about how to survive the strain of lockdown.

Handling kids thoughtfully.

Children and grandchildren can provide our family life with wonderful moments. Their spontaneity and sense of fun can brighten the day. But almost out of the blue, squabbling, shouting or crying can break out and they can be a bit of a pain. They seem to be noisier, more untidy and more demanding than ever we expected. What they want can be different from what we want, testing our limits and boundaries.

Toleration and patience is called for. Counting to ten and taking a step back before over-reacting. Also the ability to say 'no' firmly and consistently without undue fuss and guilt. Where to draw the line may need negotiating before hand with the children's other parent so they don't learn to play one parent off against the other. To accept authority, children need to be told the reasons why they can't have what they want. But when upset and angry the child is not ready to be reasoned with. That needs to come later.

We all need some rest to restore our inner resources if we are to survive being imprisoned within our own home. Then we will more easily find the concentration and forbearance required to focus our attention on our children's needs. They are having to adjust to no longer being with their friends. Complaining of feeling bored, they will need support and encouragement to explore new hobbies.

Tragically, the lockdown will probably reduce available support to us if we happen to be a single parent. For example from friends and grandparents. Without help it will be harder for the adult to gain respite and energy to resume the care role the next day.

Avoiding retaliation

I suppose it is natural for us to feel irritated if a family member snaps at us. Not so much what they say but how they say it. They may raise their voice when this is uncalled for. Worse would be shouting and slamming the door. And if there has been several angry outbursts lately, we probably would get cross ourselves, which of course makes things worse. Now both of us think how unfair the other is being. Resentment can fester for a while and add to disquiet. We can end up imagining getting our own back on each other.

The film 'Tit for Tat' featuring Laurel and Hardy comes to mind. The two heroes open an electrical goods shop next door to Charlie' grocery store. The comedy develops in the way the characters involved respond to each other. Charlie mistakenly thinks that Ollie is making advances towards his wife and harms a few items in Stan and Ollie's shop. Resentfully, Stan and Ollie respond by causing damage to more of Charlie's things and so he does something worse to their property. The retaliations escalate; eventually wreaking havoc in both stores. This is taking things to extremes.

Being mindful & strain of lockdown

Escaping from a heated situation may be less easy during the strain of lockdown. Police guidance is that people can move to a friend's address for a cooling-off period "following arguments at home" as long as this is measured in days, not hours. But this may not be feasible if you have a duty of care to a child, or a family member who is sick or infirm in your home.

One needs to lower the tension somehow. Not raising it by trying to even the score. Not making things worse by getting our own back on someone. The challenge is to keep our head. To notice resentful thoughts but not engage with them. Part of us wants to blame someone when things are not right. But rather than act on this, we can learn to observe this inner rush to be judgmental. We can be more mindful of not only our own natural reactions, but those of others around us. And to do this with an awareness of the bigger picture.

Strain of lockdown & assertion

The result might be to remain silent when someone is having a go at us. Perhaps wait for a more opportune moment when they are ready to listen. It is possible to resolve a disagreement later. Then to calmly assert our own viewpoint.

Those with assertion skills can put forward their point of view showing respect, neither interrupting nor speaking unnecessarily loudly. Without insisting one is right and the other person is wrong, however certain one might feel. This approach may involve being willing to negotiate some sort of compromise.

Collaboration with the person who has offended us might be a possibility. Each need to be willing to explore what had happened between them. To reflect on where things went wrong. How the tension could have been avoided. There might be an underlying issue that can be addressed. A solution to the problem might please both of us and them and go beyond what each of us had wanted in the first place.

Strain of lockdown & partner's needs

Couples in lockdown will be thrown together for much of the time. A real test of love. To survive this rough time of lockdown strain, the partners need to even better learn than they had previously, how to get on.

This includes being willing to consider and even prioritise each other's needs. Our partner may need to talk and be heard. May need practical help now in what they are doing. Will need an equal share in decision making. And will need our forgiveness for any mistakes or wrong-doing.

"Patience gives your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time that they deserve to correct it." (Stephen Kendrick)

Be ready to forgive

Usually it is easier to let bygones be bygones when the person who has done us wrong is genuinely sorry. But more difficult to 'forgive and forget' if they show less than complete remorse for what they have done. Likewise if only partly appreciating the hurt they have caused us.

To remove our resentment we could try recalling a time when we had done something bad ourselves to them. No one is perfect and if they were lenient with us then it makes it easier for us now.

Another tip is to consider what worldly or selfish desire in you that have been thwarted by the other person and reconsider its importance. Pride been wounded? Well what's so bad about a little humility? Time wasted by someone? Never mind there is plenty of time left in life to make up what was lost.

Summary

The current pandemic is a big challenge for many people. But if we can better learn to live well under the constraint of the strain of lockdown then perhaps we will have a better quality of family life afterwards.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10283821

Exercising In Lockdown With No Equipment And Very Little Space

Being stuck in our homes and unable to go out for a walk or a change of view can be quite a problem for many of us, and after a while of lazing on the couch and watching TV reruns we start getting the urge to get moving and getting our blood circulating again.

But what to do in such a small space! Well, here are some ideas and suggestions that you can use as a kick off point to developing your own exercise routine!

You've heard it said "Use what you have, not what you don't have." What we have are two legs that weigh quite a bit, even if you're quite slim. One leg weighs about 15% of your body weight. So lifting those legs will use quite a bit of energy. So lets use them as follows.

Stand in an area of your house where you have at least a metre of space in front of you. (More if you're tall) Then keeping your leg as straight as you can, quickly lift it up forwards as high as you can. Try to get your heel up to the height of your bellybutton by kicking it upwards. You can put your hand on a table or a doorhandle to keep your balance. Alternate legs, so do left, right, left, right continuously until you get tired. After about 20 of these you will notice that your breathing is getting heavier. That means your blood is starting to move! Yay!

Then turn around and, keeping your legs straight, kick up each leg backwards in the same manner, doing left, right, left, right and so on until tired.

Get your breath back, then run easily on the spot for a bit until you feel ready for some more, and then repeat as much as you can.

Then there's dancing. Nothing fancy, something like a two step dance, as long as it gets you jumping around and getting that blood circulation going! So put some lively music on with a good beat and start dancing! Try and invent new dance steps, go a little ballistic and get those legs up and the arms going crazy - the more movement the better. This will also save you on heating costs because you'll get so warm you won't need any heating. It also helps with your digestion, makes you slimmer eventually, and flushes all the toxins out of your body. A win-win situation.

Bit too frail for all this crazy exercise? Well, make some space in your biggest room, or multiple rooms, and make a "track" that you can walk along, could be in a figure of eight type of shape or a random shape through your house or flat. Make sure you have a place where you can turn around fairly easily to go back to the start again. Then measure this "track" so you know how far one "lap" is. Now you can walk around this track for as long as you can, changing direction every now and again so you work all your muscles equally. Count the number of laps so you know how far you've walked, then you can try and improve on that next time you walk. You can also put music on to make it a little more pleasant. I managed to walk 2km in my small house, so try and top that.

If you have young kids, piggy back them all over the house. They will love it, and you'll get fit! If you have carpets you can push the little ones all over the place in a cardboard box, they always enjoy that, and it really works all the muscles in your body!

So no excuse now! You have all the gym equipment you need built right into your own body! Let's do it!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10279735